It's not about the WHAT . . . it's about the WHY

bodbuds
Oct 22, 2014
5 min read

Dear Body Buds,

The other day, I was walking to my apartment building after just parking my car. Approximately 30 feet in front of me, two middle-aged women with three young children trailing them were walking past the tennis court in the direction of the pool. I couldn’t help but notice the 32-ounce Diet Cokes that were clutched in each of these women’s hands.

My mind is constantly analyzing, thinking, and reacting. Sometimes I wish I could shut it off, but that is simply the way I was created.

If someone were with me right now, they would probably be thinking they knew what I was thinking. They would probably think I am looking at the soda in disgust and wishing I could tell these women they shouldn’t be drinking it. And if were someone were with me right now, they couldn’t be more wrong.

My thoughts continued as I passed the women, the carbonation fizzing near the neck of the plastic bottles they each held from the jostling and swinging by their sides.

If I had a chance to talk with these women, I wouldn’t tell them they shouldn’t be drinking soda. I would ask them a question instead. I would ask, “what is going on in your life that makes you feel that you need the soda?”

These thoughts continued onward in my mind and framed several coaching calls I made later that day. As I talked with some of my amazing clients in our weekly 30-minute calls, we were able to dive far below the surface of our daily actions in nutrition and fitness, and address the very behavior that stimulates our actions. Some of the most prevalent reasons for any behavior not exactly in line with a healthy lifestyle are these:

Stressed out and burdened from the obligations of each day
Spousal or other relationship problems and frustrations/hurt
Boredom with life and needing something “fun” to experience
Simple replication of habit that has originally was created from one of the three items above

If you have read my book, The Power Foods Lifestyle, you will know how much I am an advocate for introspection. We must learn to stop and look inside ourselves, asking the tough questions, if we wish to truly make a change in our lives. You can do it, even though it is tough at first! Push through the discomfort of coming to know yourself better. It’s so worth it when you have that moment of realization—of learning why you are the way you are!

You have a bajillion things going on each day. You wear multiple hats and have obligations that range from family, work, church, friends, and everything in between! The weight of these responsibilities is heavy on your shoulders and sometimes you wish you could pay a one-way ticket on the express train away from your life. You want just one, even one day, away from it all where no one calls you, no one needs you, and no one bothers you. You haven’t had “me” time in a long time, and the thought of adding one more effort (namely nutrition and fitness) to your plate seems unbelievably impossible!

Does this sound familiar? It sure does to me! There are many days I experience these same feelings! The old me used to find myself driving to Paradise Bakery on lunch breaks to “escape” from these feelings and “treat” myself to even 5 minutes of pleasure in the form of 5-6 varieties of cookies. I always felt like garbage after and hated myself, then punished myself through food deprivation or eternal cardio sessions, and it was a horrible cycle. Now I have learned that the proper fueling of my body gives me the power to talk myself through these emotional desires for escape. The realization has also helped me become aware that my “fixations” or “cravings” for food are actually an indicator that something in my life is unbalanced and needs addressed. This has been a powerful tool for me to feel happier overall as I address the real problems instead of mask them.

Another area that causes us to run to food or mask our emotions with food is when relationships in our life cause us pain, frustration, and despair. You may feel trapped in a relationship where you are always the one giving and never receiving. You may feel frustrated with your good intentions and affections in dating never being reciprocated. You may be surrounded by people and “friends,” but always feel alone. Chocolate has eternally been joked about as the master soother to relationship woes and pain, but I believe that only brings more pain as you then have to deal with the consequences of fat storage, weight gain, and frustration as you know that’s not going to necessarily make you feel better.

I used to be someone who soothed a broken heart from dating woes (still haven’t found that special one, darn it!) with food—and lots of it! And the day that I was in pain and didn’t turn to food was a liberating experience. It was a simple decision—a realization that nothing could solve the pain but time, so I was going to face it like a woman, process it, forgive the dude, and move on. That experience was powerful, and I have had many opportunities since that time years ago to make that decision a habit. Food is no longer the balm of soothing—it is fuel to be used according to the Power Foods Lifestyle. I have learned that becoming the master of myself and my mind is far more powerful than allowing myself to become a “victim” and throw “pity parties.”

With that said, please do not feel that you are less than or “weak” if you are not to that point yet! It is a process, and you can get there, but it’s going to start with one decision one day. You have to make that decision. You have to face reality and be very blunt with yourself. You have to decide it’s time to stop running and start feeling the emotion. Emotion is okay! You’ll live! Yes, it may hurt! But you do not need to create a new problem in your life by throwing garbage down your throat. You can do this. You really can.

I could go on and on about this topic, but I hope you might take what you have learned and consider if being coached through this process is right for you. I would love to work with you one-on-one to discuss the personal areas in your life where you can improve. It is then, and only then, that my strategies on nutrition and fitness can take effect and sculpt your body. That is when nutrition and fitness are super simple—so let’s clear your mind and your heart of the jumbling emotions and strategize how to help you become the master of your mind.

Please submit a coaching request via my website—tell me you read this blog post and I will happily apply a 15% discount toward your desired coaching package.

’m here to help, and I’ll eternally be cheering you on.

Love your bud,